Home, For Arben

 

there is no sun shining today

but somehow the ocean still finds a color to cling to

a muddy blue

perhaps it is reflecting on itself

 

you taught me that saltwater blue 

is the warmest shade of lonely

and that the blues

can cure just about anything

but feeling sorry for yourself

will only make you more sorry

 

there are entire days that i spend thinking only of you

and your words

wishing 

and missing coffee kisses in the train station

in the train station,

you said, jump in my suitcase

you were kidding

i would have

 

i’m too young for “impossible” to be so easy to pronounce

rolls from my lips like native tongue

i’m too young to be lovesick already

 

it isn’t summer anymore

but it isn’t fall yet either

i used to believe that loneliness was only the distance you are from yourself,

i didn’t think anyone else could play a factor

but bleeding and boneshed

in the deepest bed i have ever made for myself

i have begun to measure loneliness as the distance i am from you:

the distance i am from home